


Heart, Oh Heart, Why Do You Hurt Me So?

by Crazy_not_insane (Queen_of_potatoes_and_Co_Angstalor)



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (other characters mentioned) - Freeform, Abadonament Feelings, Angst, Blood, Character Death, Depression, Happy ending at the chapter 3, Hurt No Comfort, Killing, Panic Attack, Suicide, Suicide-thoughts, Trigger warnings:, abuse (mentioned), killing mention, self-hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26803981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_of_potatoes_and_Co_Angstalor/pseuds/Crazy_not_insane
Summary: Fox and the aftermath of Palpatine being caught.Mind The Tags!
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox/Quinlan Vos (hopeful), CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi (background), CC-5052 | Bly/Aayla Secura (background)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 116





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> :)

Fox slowly packed his things, knowing that now that the Jettise1 finally caught Sidious, the Senate will cry for his murder when they discover his involvement (even if he was an unwilling participant) they would scream for his blood, and none of his Vo-no, no one from the GAR would protest, they would only celebrate, glad to finally get rid of him.

Stopping a bit, Fox took a shaky breath, trying to calm his nerves while looking over everything he was taking to the lower levels (he might no longer be part of the Vode Aliit2, but he wanted to be near in case they needed him, even after he helped the things would end badly to himself).

Deciding he had everything he needed that couldn’t be tracked, Fox slowly changed from his armour to a few civilian clothes he had gotten from a few undercover gigs, trying to be mindful of his healing wounds from the most recent Punishment round he had gotten from his Mas-from Palpatine (caused by him letting slip a few crucial information that would make his Mas-Palpatine, that would make Palpatine shine in a bad light, [not that Fox minded, of course, he was sure that that piece of information helped the Jedi discover who the Sith Master]) before grabbing his small backpack, grabbing a few, undetectable, datapad with a few photos of his Vode3 from when he was still part of their family, from when they didn’t hate him.

Slowly walking to his bookcase, Fox paused to think about staying, to let the Senate take him and kill him, as a final middle finger to his Ma- Palpatine, to show that  _ nothing _ from Fox belonged to him, not even his  _ life _ as his Ma-Palpatine so often boasted around before hitting him while forcing him to stay both still and quiet or else his vod’ikae4 got hurt (a hard lesson that Fox learned the first few months, the guilt of watching or squad return without a member or too hurt for the kaminoans to consider them ‘operational’ or not return at all still haunted him), as some of his V-coworkers surely wouldn’t mind seeing him finally kick the bucket, but decided against, there were often parents who forced their kids to watch the executions of traitors and he didn’t want to cause them (or any of ex-young siblings and Jedi padawans) any more trauma.

Silently thanking his M-Palpatine’s decision of changing his office so it was connected with a few tunnels that would lead him to the worst parts of the level plus quite a few levels below, Fox slowly clicked a button on the lower side of his bookcase with his foot, stepping back as it opened before slowly walking in, flinching as the door automatically closed behind him.

Gulping, Fox silently walked, using the walks to guide him until he reached the end of the tunnel before opening the small, old, lift and clinking on a few of the lower levels, already decided that he was going to live in the lower, _ lower _ levels as a small form of punishments for his crimes against his Family (although, they no longer consider him that, did they?) as he was taking their change of doing it away from them.

(A few hours later, Fox’s batch appeared, wishing for Fox to  _ please  _ tell them that the things that Palpatine had confessed doing to Fox (while blaming him for his current situation), that the torture, both mental and physical, was all a lie or an exaggerated statement only to find him gone and only a letter to sign that he was there at all.)

******************************************************

Fox coughed, feeling weak, before slumping down to his incredible would-beat-the-GAR’s-matteress uncomfortable mattress.

It had been a few months since he left (he doesn’t doubt that the only reason he didn’t have people after him 24/5 was because they didn’t want to bother with him) and a few weeks since the Jedi discovered something that would slow down the clone’s ageing until they aged normally (but Fox didn’t bother appearing to get a shot of it, he didn’t deserve it, not when he was the cause of  _ so many _ deaths because he didn’t please Palpatine).

Letting his head slump against his pillow (that was just a piece of cloth), Fox took a deep breath of air before immediately regretting it.

Right, his air cleaner stopped working three days ago, which meant that the polluted air of the level took over his minuscule, one-room apartment…

Closing his eyes, Fox stayed still, not bothering to try and get a cup to drink his (polluted) water, especially tend in count that he had so little as it is and that he was probably going to die soon (either from his sickness or from starvation, as he hadn’t been able to buy more food to himself as he wasn’t able to leave the bed and the fact that he had no credits, thanks to the fact that he was fired at the start of the week when he was too weak to go to work, and had nothing worth trading for).

Suddenly, Fox started to feel tired, like he could sleep a full week and still feel tired when he woke up, and he knew, if he fell asleep, he wouldn’t wake up again.

For a moment, Fox thought of fighting it, of trying to get better, of going to the top level and apologise to his Vode5 (to Wolffe for the Manovelence [he didn’t know at the time what saying “No.” to Palpatine would result in, he knew better now], to Fives for almost killing him [even if Fox had been forced to], for Rex for forcing him to watch someone he considered a brother be shot by someone else that Rex also considered a brother [at least Fox hoped so, but Rex was colder to him after the Tano incident, so he doesn’t know...] and almost die in his arms, to Thorn for not being there when he returned squad-less from Scipio[he wanted to be there, really! Palpatine just had decided that he needed someone gone then and...Fox didn’t want Bly to suffer the pain of losing his first love], to the other Vode6 for everything he did), to go up there and accept  _ any _ punishment that they and the Senate and Jedi saw him fit to suffer, either death or something humiliating.

But…

They probably didn’t want to see him, they were probably happy that he was gone, that he wasn’t there to bother them or taint any new good memory they formed.

So, ignoring the tears running down his face (but he ignored them), Fox took a deep breath and let himself be taken to the darkness, knowing he wasn’t going to wake up.


	2. Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The _Sad_ ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> The sad part...

“Where’s Fox?” Cody asked one of the Guards near Fox’s office, trying to control his panic and not let it take over.

“In his office, sir.” The Guard said, sounding confused.

“Kark, kark, kark,” Cody heard Bly mutter, before Ponds break out running back to the office.

Meanwhile, Wolffe grabbed his comm and started to bark orders to try and find Fox.

(They didn’t find him that night, or the next one or in the next month.)

(They ended up holding a small funeral for him when they didn’t find him in two months, haunted by the fact that their vod’ika1 was hurt, was  _ tortured _ , and that they didn’t notice.)

************************************************************

Wolffe ran through the lower levels streets, following after a Jetti2 who had tracked down Fox’s force aura.

They had recently found a small hallway behind a bookcase in Fox’s old office and signs of the lift at the end of it having been used and quickly found to which level.

“There!” The Jedi - Quinlan Vos? Whatever, Wolffe just cared that he had spent a while with the Guard, enough to recognize Fox’s Force Signature and for that Wolffe was thankful - said, pointing at a small apartment at the end of the building that he had led them to “Come on, we need to hurry before-” The Jedi didn’t finish the sentence, tripping (and did he just pale?) but Wolffe paid it no mind, sprinting to the door.

Forcing the door open, Wolffe walked in, followed by his other brothers, but stopped at the pang in his heart when he saw how horrible the place that kaysh’kih’vod’ika3 had been living the last few months.

Feeling someone press against him and a “ _ Hurry up! _ ” from the comms, Wolffe mentally shook his head and sprinted to the small bed in the corner of the room, noting that the air cleaner had recently gotten broken and not been fixed, which meant that Fox had been breathing polluted air for a while and not thought (or been able) to fix the machine, which made Wolffe more worried.

“Fox’ika? Time to wake up.” Wolffe said, shaking Fox (who was weirdly cold) but the clone in question didn’t react “Fo’ika? Come on, it isn’t funny.” Wolffe tried again, shaking Fox once more as Cody and Alpha knelt beside him, but Fox didn’t react which made Wolffe panic a little as he realised that Fox appeared not to be breathing “Fox’ika4, please open your eyes,  _ please _ .”

But Fox didn’t open his eyes and when Wolffe was about to try again, Alpha slowly pushed him to the side, grabbing Fox’s wrist and putting two fingers against Fox’s neck.

After a minute or so, Alpha sadly shook his head, looking down as Cody let out a teary gasp, grabbing Wolffe’s arm tightly.

(They ended up discovering that the Jedi had hoped that Fox was still alive and the only reason his Force signature was so weak and full of death was because of poor living conditions and the death in general at the level but he found out he was wrong when he was near the apartment, which was the reason why he tripped and paled.

In the end, Fox had been dead for a few hours [if what the medics said was true that is] and he finally got a beautiful funeral after being added back to the Vode Aliit5.)

  
(Fox’s old batch and closer vode6 could  _ swear _ that they felt someone hug them from behind at some point in the funeral, but when they turned around to face the person who was doing it, all they found was hot hair and the smell of the small pastries that Fox had liked so much.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending will be out soon!
> 
> Don't forget to comment and/or send an ask to my Tumblr([@mrfandomwars](http://mrfandomwars.tumblr.com/))!  
> 
> 
> ###  **Translations**
> 
>   1. Dear Sibling, brother here Back;
>   2. Jedi Back;
>   3. His Dear Younger Sibling, brother here Back
>   4. Dear/Little Fox (affectionate) Back;
>   5. Siblings Clan/Family Back;
>   6. Siblings Back;
> 

> 
>   
> 
> 
> ##### **Mando'a Translations came from here:**
> 
> **[Mando'a Dictionary](http://mandoa.org/)**


	3. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The _Happy_ ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it!^~^

Fox sighed contentedly as he felt Wolffe run his hand through his hair, leaning more into his ori’vod1 hold.

It had been a month since he had gotten back to the upper level, thanks to his vode2 finding him minutes after he had passed out (and wasn’t  _ that _ a shock, waking up with his brothers holding him after he fully woke up from the catatonic state he was in the first week) and he was still medbay bound but only for a few more days if what the medics said was true.

He still can’t believe that his brothers forgave him for everything that happens because of him but every time he mentioned it they insisted that it wasn’t Fox’s fault (and wasn’t  _ that _ a shock to hear Wolffe say it the first time, Fox was  _ so sure _ that Wolffe wouldn’t want to talk or see him after he confessed  as Palpatine often said it would happen ) and that Palpatine was only trying to shift the blame to control him better, but Fox didn’t,  _ couldn’t _ , believe that, after all, e was the reason for so many dead vo-.

Out of nowhere, Fox felt someone flicker their fingers against his head making him flinch.

Looking up, Fox found Wolffe looking at him apologetically.

“Sorry vod’ika3, you had that look on your face when you were thinking about bad,  _ incorrect _ , stuff.” Wolffe apologised, moving his hand so it was now resting against Fox’s back, where he started to softly rub circles in it.

“It’s fine,” Fox mumbled, shifting so he had his head on Wolffe’s shoulder before closing his eyes.

“If you say so...” Wolffe said near his ear, shifting a bit, probably to get a better look at the holo-book he was holding.

They stayed like that for a while, Fox slowly falling asleep, but just as he was about to, he felt someone lay down behind him on the bed.

Slowly blinking his eyes open, Fox shifted a bit, turning his head to look behind him.

“Hi Ori’Vod4,” Cody softly said, laying down beside him, followed by Rex who laid down between them with his head on Fox’s chest.

“Hi Kih’Vode5,” Fox greeted, putting his arms around Rex (who refused to look at him besides a little peak but he ended up looking down again, something they had been working on in therapy to help deal with Rex's on how he treated Fox after Fives 'death' and Fox’s guilt about the war in general, it was slow coming but it’s getting there) and giving a light kiss on his forehead.

They shifted a bit, so they were all holding each other.

Soon enough, Fox was back to the almost-asleep state he was previously in, only opening his eyes when Alpha, Ponds and Bly joined them, but otherwise he didn't open them and simply laid there basking in kaysh'vod'ikae6 presence.

Hearing a knocking on the door, however, made Fox quickly awake, used to only getting a few moments of sleep before being called away from his time in the Guard (who, by the way, were still getting used to all the positive attention and apologies they have been getting from their siblings).

Sharing a look with the Batch, Alpha-17 quickly said: "Come in!"

The door slowly opened, revealing General (Knight?) Vos.

Who was holding a plate with Fox's favourite pastries?

“Sir,” Fox greeted, the other’s just nodded in Vos’ direction, saying a small ‘hello’ and all while Rex held Fox a bit tighter.

“Hey, I just wanted to check on Fox,” Gener- Quinlan, the last time he asked to be called Quinlan - Quinlan said, rubbing the back of his neck, before raising the plate a bit “And to give you this.” He said, before handing Fox the plate

“Thank you.” Fox thanked him, lowering the plate so it was on top of his legs, blushing a bit, not sure how Gene-Quinlan knew that they were his favourites as he rarely had the time to eat them, never mind that it was never when the Jedi was visiting the Guard.

Thorn must have snitched on him, that traitor.

“No problem,” Ge-Quinlan said, lowering his hand before clearing his throat (why was he blushing?).

“I was, um, wondering if you wanted to go see a movie a few days when you were cleared from the medbay,” G-Quinlan asked, not looking at Fox in the eyes.

Blushing, Fox sputtered out a ‘yes’ making Quinlan give a nervous smile before quickly leaving with an excuse of having to check on Aayla.

“Foxy has an admirer!.~~” Ponds said, sing-toned, putting an arm around Fox.

Fox’s face went beet red.

“G-Quinlan doesn’t like me.” Fox sputtered out, looking at the plate and unconsciously smiled.

“Suuuuuuuure, and you don’t have a crush on him,” Cody said, making Fox blush even more.

“Even IF I liked him, the Jedi can’t have relationships, everyone knows that,” Fox said.

“Right, I got to remind Obi-Wan of that,” Cody said, deadpanned.

“And I Aayla,” Bly added.

Fox rolled his eyes, his vode7 could be so oblivious and dumb at times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Don't forget to comment and/or send an ask to my Tumblr ([@mrfandomwars](http://mrfandomwars.tumblr.com/))!  
> 
> 
> ###  **_Translations:_ **
> 
>   1. Older Sibling, Brother Here Back;
>   2. Siblings, brothers Here Back;
>   3. Dear Sibling, Brother Here Back;
>   4. Older Sibling, Brother Here Back;
>   5. Little Siblings, Brothers Here Back;
>   6. His Dear Siblings, Brothers Here Back;
>   7. Siblings, Brothers Here Back;
> 

> 
>   
> 
> 
> ##### **Mando'a translations came from here:**
> 
>     **[Mando'a Dictionary](http://mandoa.org/)**

**Author's Note:**

> I _might_ be motivated to do a happy ending...depends on you guys.  
> Don't forget to comment and/or send an ask to my Tumblr([@mrfandomwars](http://mrfandomwars.tumblr.com/))!  
> 
> 
> ###  **Translations:**
> 
>   1. Jedi (plural) Back;
>   2. Siblings Clan/Family Bakc;
>   3. Siblings, brother here B;
>   4. Dear Siblings Back;
>   5. Siblings Back;
>   6. Back;
> 

> 
>   
> 
> 
> **Mando'a Translations came from here:**
>     **[Mando'a Dictionary](http://mandoa.org/)**


End file.
